I can feel it coming, and I don't like it
it might only be pms, and what a millennial thing to talk about online, but I can feel the darkness coming once again, like a natural part of the upcoming winter, with no chance of letting a light burn in my chest.
and it will pass - it always does, anyway. but I never actually missed it, since it passed the last time. I don't miss the lack of energy, the withdrawal from socialising, the disconnect from myself.
the last month and a half-ish has been so good, and lively and colourful - even in the midst of the politics craze for Brasil's presidential election - I was so productive, and interested. and felt so capable and sure of myself.
now I'm spiralling again and can only watch the descent from a third-person perspective that haunts me.